image: autocorrect

I really don’t like autocorrect. It creates more errors than it resolves.

I often type in more than one language. The dratted thing likes to replace correct words in one language with the wrong ones in another.

It doesn’t help that it insists on naïve use of multiple keyboards, which I’ve no intention of following. I use an English layout, usually US international, no matter what’s printed on the keys themselves. It’s so much easier not having to care where the ANY key might be on a Thargoid or whatever keyboard that happens to be in front of me. Instead, I tell the computer to pretend I have a US English keyboard, ignore what’s on the keys, press what would be the ANY key in America, and I get what I expect.

Another problem is shewn by all those autocorrect memes that used to fly around the internet. You messaged your mother, and your oCrap changed apple pie to fellatio. What people forget, when reposting these embarrassments, is that autocorrect learns the words you often type, and tends to substitute them for those it doesn’t recognise. In other words, it slots in those words you use heavily, and you end up telling your mother what you often tell your lover. Admittedly, this can make the meme funnier.

As you can probably guess, I keep autocorrect turned off. If I’m going to type a message with a plain word accidentally transcribed into something rude, at least it will be my subconscious with the problem, not the broody iPuds.

An interesting consequence of autocorrect is spelling is no longer evidence of attention to detail, it’s merely proof of ability to not press a button. If you really want to suss whether someone writes carelessly, look for correctly spelt wrong words. Of coarse, this snows you I can’t prof reed. And if you hear someone complaining about another’s spelling, you’ve found an arrogant dinosaur.

All this is obvious, and most of us will know it. But writing it here gets another autocorrect blooper off my goat.