Background
I was born in the village of Bleugh!
in the country of Coochee Coo,
on the far away planet of Tharg.

Of course, my background's a secret;
I keep it by telling the truth,
there's no one who ever believes me---

see, you don't, do you…?

Self-Description
I'm a techie,
newsaholic,

beer-swilling beer-gutted,
Citroën loving,
photographing,
piss-poor pub-quizzing,

Red Guide applauding,
science consuming,
contemporary classical (and dance) adoring,

a Buddhist-ish,
occasionally entrepreneurial
fenlander.

For now.

Hobbies
Flushing baby reptiles down the loo.
Running the "Fenland Bayou Crocodile Tour" company.
Placing long-term bets that a local bog-snorkeler will be eaten by an alligator.

Appearance
Some people dress submitting to style,
some people dress expressing their guile,
but me, I get dressed so not to get wet.

Some people buy 'til sated, they drop,
some people buy mass-marketed slop,
but me, I nick things from charity bins.

Some people hide in everyone's sight,
some people give excitement to light,
but me, I've panache of a motorway crash.

Profession
Yes please.

Marital Status
Thargettes rarely visit the Earth,
they don't have the necessary sense of insanity.

So I'm only a lonely Thargoid,
subverting my angst with too many tanks
of ale.

Any other comments
Which of these deceptions do I believe?