after a year
hanging on the chance
of every email
to rob myself
to break
i want to go through the door
i’ve slammed the door in my face
i’m unlocking the door
i’ve locked the door
i’ve hidden the key
it’s in my hand
i want to go through the door
is that noise
on the other side
shuffling
breathing
no
i’m inventing the noise
i’ve slammed the door in my face
with reason