… let me make something very clear … responsible for this whole … you are entirely … started when i was living in … and those events were entirely at your … everything since then is … do not initiate such things for the very simple reason that they always causes me … did not initiate this situation you … actually hate these kind of situations … they are always destructive and i hate … i hate that i let myself … i hate that i never catch and stop … yes, yes, my failure … yes, yes, my early … never expected to be put through this kind of crap again at … left things as they were before i came to … and mutual … none of this … would not have … then … as you have pointed out yourself there is no … alcohol is the … through a great deal of … which comes across from here as an immense irresponsible … and you've not even … it wasn’t something you planned it was something you did … you were always … and it’s clear you didn’t or weren’t able to foresee … but to deny … is to lie and to deny … is …