angst cycle (iii) — [ƫ] (iv)

look behind you
no
not like that
look behind yourself
in time

you know how you got here
you know
no you don’t
you probably remember
and you can probably
work out the route
that probably
corresponds
to that memory

but
you know what
it’s nothing to do with memory
the dispute
it’s the little problem
of reality

every possible way
for you to get there
is the way you took
not any of them
all of them
yes
all

now
of course
some were slightly more likely
that others

in one of those histories
no doubt
a brief word
with a real Mr. Scott
had a real silver cylinder
work it’s real silver vision
to your arrival

but that’s so unlikely
to be discountable
even though
it happened

nope
you see
almost all the contradictory histories
that happened
were the probable ones
the chances are so high
that
yes
your memory is correct
as correct as it can be
that yes
you did indeed
in almost all the cases
went that way
the one you remember
the one that happened
almost all the contradictory times

in fact
the chances of those histories
the contradict the macro
are so low
they’re less likely
than the universe

only there’s
so many of them
universes
that
actually
in one of them
you did
take
the extraordinary
route

it might be
this
one

although
in almost all
of them
so many
so many
you don’t exist
we don’t exist

so the chances
are highest
there was no you
to walk the way

except there is a you
to walk the way

or is there

i do
have the habit
unfortunate
really
of
talking to myself

is there a you
a way
a walk

i’ll allow you
to ask
of me
the same

you might see
if you look
into the hologram

it’s
rather big

it contains
the universe

this one
or all of them
i don’t know
even more
than i don’t know
the rest
of this poem