angst cycle (iii) — [π] (i)

how about this

going back to that
two year ago
when she made her strongest play

not a fucking misunderstanding
no matter how much
she tries to convince herself now

she told me
her current lover then
was to live with her
in three month

that said to me
there was no fucking point
i’d be in then thrown

i knew that then
so i kept out
i did not know
i had so little fucking wit

her play was poisoning me
my insanity
i should have been alert

but we never are
that’s the sane insanity
biology the bane

turns out she meant
that if i had responded well
she’d have dropped him

she’ll deny this
no doubt
that betray

& betray again
poison and pain
her role

i know she reads the poetry
far more than i ever can
what i no longer believe

is she understands the emotion
underneath the wit
the pain

for if she did
she’d be a little more